PSYCHOLOGY
Do You Have an Overbearing Partner?
Have you ever been in a situation where your partner made your choices for you? How did it make you feel?
When your partner attempts to intervene in your decisions and plans, this may not seem controlling at first. They might just be trying to help out or even correcting your mistakes.
But what if it happens so frequently and it comes to a point where they’re criticizing your every decision? What if this behavior is causing rather than fixing problems?
You’d probably say, “That sounds like controlling behavior.”
Here are some signs that your partner is overbearing and tips on how to deal with them.
They always find excuses for why it’s your fault
Whatever your decisions, an overbearing partner always has something to say about it. They keep telling you your choice will fail, but they never offer any help or any helpful suggestions.
To deal with this, remain calm and keep a positive mindset. Don’t allow them to feel that you are affected by their criticisms.
Someone with an overbearing personality feels triumph and a sense of fulfillment if they see they can control you. Most of them won’t accept failures. So, be positive but try to understand their behavior.
They avoid accountability
They always shift the blame on you. They accuse you of causing every failure, even when they know they have done it themselves. That is a sign of an overbearing personality. They do that out of fear of being blamed.
If this happens, remember that being productive matters more. Staying calm will be even more important when you’re handling their accusations. You can’t win with this kind of personality, so it’s best not to see it as a fight.
Instead, stand firm with your opinions, but explain yourself politely. Offer remedies to the present problem and ask them for their opinion.
They insist they are right all the time
Insisting that they are always right is another way an overbearing partner tries to control you. They are not open to your opinions and won’t accept your suggestions.
Compromise is a good idea, especially when you’re in a relationship. But never forget that you have the right to disagree or say no to their ideas. As much as possible, assert yourself nicely or non-confrontationally.
A good way to handle them is to appreciate their opinion, but point out that you have your own with courteous sentences like, “That’s your opinion,” or “Let’s agree to disagree.”
As much as possible, choose your battles. If something just isn’t worth the argument, don’t argue over it. But when something matters to you, then you need to stand up for it and yourself. Your convictions are worth upholding.
Hopefully, they will realize that their ways are not the only ways. There are so many other methods or ideas out there that they can consider.
Help them understand and explain it clearly.
Lies all the time
Sometimes, people lie because they are afraid that telling the truth may hurt someone. They try to prevent an argument.
But if you ever find yourself in this situation, be sure that you’re not just trying to avoid the consequences of your actions under the guise of protecting someone’s feelings.
However, there are cases when lying is plain wrong. When your partner does so frequently, for one. When they always deny their mistakes, for another.
This means they are trying to control you. They want you to believe that they are smarter than you and that their decisions are more effective.
Know the truth and present it to them. Lying shouldn’t be normalized.
Final thoughts
Confrontation is unpleasant, but, sometimes, it’s the best way to resolve a problem.
An overbearing partner may be the way they are because of circumstances beyond their control. They may not even know that they’re overbearing.
In that case, you need to have an honest conversation and let them know how their behavior affects you and your relationship.
But when they refuse accountability, when they continue on with their behavior despite evidence that it’s harming your relationship, maybe it’s time you decide whether it’s worth staying with them.
Also published on Medellin Singles
