LIFE LESSONS
Forming a Relationship with Your Overbearing Mother in Law
A little advice: You should start creating a bond with your future mother in law, even though she can be a pain.
Having someone always judge you on a personal level can be very annoying, especially if that “someone” is your wife’s mother. You thought when you got married, she would be less in your face, right? Wrong.
When new life emerges, something from the bowels of hell will always spawn to destroy it, and lo and behold, it’s your overbearing mother in law.
When it comes to having a good marriage, investing in a relationship with your wife’s mother will massively help your life go as smoothly as possible.
Creating that bond might be challenging, but it’s worth it
I get it: You don’t want to put yourself through that kind of torture. You would rather snip off one of your ears than listen to her nag about every little thing in your life.
It’s no secret that dealing with an overbearing mother in law can be stressful; she’s like a vulture circling a dying animal, just waiting for it to fall so she can swoop in and feast. But that’s just what she is: a scavenger. You can deal with that.
However, you need a specific approach to connect with her and impress her. And under no circumstances should you fake your way to gain her favor. Show her that you are fit to marry her daughter in the first place.
1. Have the initiative to help her when you can
Don’t wait to be told what to do. Whenever she is busy doing something for the family or household, always offer a helping hand, even though you think she has it covered. It’s the thought and gesture that will show her how much you genuinely want to be a part of the family.
2. Get to know her
Show genuine interest in the woman who raised your wife. When you talk to her, you might discover something new about your wife or even learn where certain traits stem from. You might even find that you have more things in common with your mother in law than you think.
3. Ask for her opinion
Her opinions may often be uncalled for. So, instead of waiting for her to say something and feeling annoyed by her doing so, ask. Make her feel heard and appreciated, like she matters in your marriage.
4. Always keep your cool
You will often receive some snarky and passive-aggressive comments from her. But keep your cool, and don’t provoke her by giving one back. As much as you might want to slap her words back in her face, you’ll end up ruining your marriage.
Show her that you can handle criticism, constructive or not. Remember, even if you can’t stand her, it does not give you an excuse to blow up and agitate her. She is your wife’s mother; you can’t escape her, so you might as well take it as it is and play it cool.
Having an overbearing mother in law can be tiresome and challenging to a certain degree. However, you can’t dodge someone forever, especially if she is part of the family. Instead of pushing her away, form a connection that will benefit your married life.
