You Can Find Love After Loss

In one moment, you can give your spouse a morning hug after waking up. In another second, however, you can watch them say their last words as they take their last breath.

The Aftermath of Loss

To say that the latter is tragic is an understatement. The loss of a spouse is a soul-crushing, earth-shattering feeling. Regardless of how they pass, the aftermath is always traumatic. The sadness consumes you, leaving you hollow, empty, and powerless. Loneliness leaves you clueless as you don’t have your soulmate by your side anymore.

Unfortunately, for us, a loss is an inevitable experience. For the past two years, most of us sadly lost someone — be it a partner, a friend, or a family member. As the world paused, every day was a reminder that life is a temporary gift. As cliche as this sounds, we all shouldn’t waste moments. It’s 2022, and shame is a wasted feeling (unless you’ve done something reprehensible).

Loss itself is hard enough. Grief comes in and makes everything even more difficult.

People often say that time heals wounds. Loss and grief leave deep scars, so don’t get too frustrated if you still feel out of sorts after a year. Remember: recovery has no deadline.

With that, everyone has different coping mechanisms for dealing with a spouse’s passing. Some withdraw themselves from the world, swearing off companionship for the rest of their days. Why? Maybe they don’t want to bear the pain of losing a partner again. Whatever their reason is, they’re set on living life without another partner.

Meanwhile, others try to pick up the pieces quickly. Some keep themselves busy and throw themselves into work. Others go off on an Eat, Pray, Love-like journey for some soul-searching. People on this side of the fence can and will do anything to feel some semblance of normalcy.

Do you find yourself in any of these situations? Don’t feel guilty about your feelings. You decide how you cope, and no one should step in (unless necessary).

A New Love Comes

One of the ways people try to move on is by finding love after loss. The void left by a spouse’s passing is too big to ignore. Some people need to physically fill that gap to stop feeling empty.

Let’s say someone comes into the picture. They make you feel things you thought you’d never feel again. What if something special is brewing between the two of you?

My take: embrace your feelings and don’t hold back on expressing them.

How Soon Is Too Soon?

If you’re worried about the timing (and optics), here’s some advice: it’s not wrong to want love after loss. It’s natural to look for companionship in such an experience — especially if it’s sudden.

There are no set timetables or waiting periods. If you want to go out and cast your net, do it! There will be some concern from some people in your circle, but just know that they’re looking out for you.

Make sure you’re ready for new love when it comes. Don’t let your new lover feel like they’re living in the shadow of your late spouse.

Finding love after a loss can be healing. Don’t deny yourself the happiness you deserve.