Who’s the Victim in Age-Gap Relationships?

I recently got into a conversation with a friend about why men who date younger women are considered “sugar daddies” or “players “ and the younger women are labeled as “gold diggers.”

He went on to say that age-gap relationships were predatory in nature. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. I knew some people were close-minded, but this was to an extreme.

Is it really a crime to be attracted to an older man? Are we supposed to date someone from our age and generation only because it is socially acceptable?

More importantly, is age the only thing that matters in a relationship?

Well, if it is, it shouldn’t be.

But the main issue we’re facing is that many older men are often assumed to be taking advantage of their younger dates because they want them for sexual motives. Maybe some do, but it would be wrong to generalize all older men who date younger women as predators.

We need to examine our own assumptions about older men who date younger women without stigmatizing them as sexual predators or even worse, victims themselves.

Women aren’t victims because they want someone to look after them or support them.

And men aren’t victims because they want to look after someone either.

I know some women who like a man that takes charge and knows what he wants. And many older men can do that.

Oftentimes, these men have developed themselves long enough that they know what they want and need. They trust their own judgment because they’re knowledgeable enough to recognize right from wrong.

For instance, they’re not as likely to change their minds about what they like or dislike after dating someone for a couple of months. They aren’t going to suddenly decide that they don’t like dogs anymore because you have one, or that they don’t like children because your family is full of them.

On the other hand, some women like men who can take care of them financially and help them with their careers. So, if they can’t find that with younger men, then why date them?

If you can find a guy who wants the same things in life that you do, then why date someone who doesn’t? Isn’t that a waste of time and effort?

What everyone should know is that age is just a number and there are many reasons why older men date younger women; some of which have nothing to do with sex or attraction but have everything to do with who they are as people.

We can choose whom we date.

Women can choose whom they want to date. And so can men.

There should be no shaming of either women or men relating to their choices in dating. Women should be allowed to date anyone they want without fear of being shamed because they’re “too old” or “too young” for someone else, even though there are social norms that dictate such relationships cannot possibly work out (or even exist).

There’s no shame in dating older men.

It is time to stop shaming women for wanting to date older men. It is time for us to understand that women are not victims and do not need our help in making decisions about their own lives.

As long as they’re consenting adults, they are equals and deserve respect for the choices they make, whether you agree with them or not.