What Does It Really Mean to Put Yourself Out There?

“Put yourself out there.”

Before I became a matchmaker and I was still dating, I didn’t have any idea what this advice really meant.

I assumed that I would have to literally put myself out there in places such as bars, coffee shops, and pubs.

Little did I know, this is only one aspect of the advice.

Yes, you have to go out and find a potential partner, but you also have to work on a lot of things. These include:

Being honest about how you really feel about dating.

For starters, the process of traditional and online dating is the same. You find someone, you go on dates, and you either part ways or move on to the next stage of your relationship.

However, dating is more than that. Since it involves your emotions, you need to prepare yourself to face different dating problems.

Also, you won’t find the perfect partner after your first try.

You’ll need to put in a lot of effort and work on building lasting connections. It’s not enough that you’re putting yourself out there.

If you can’t handle this reality, then it’s going to be difficult to find a partner.

So, be honest, are you ready to date in this modern age?

Letting go of the past.

Before you start dating, you need to be open to new romantic connections. However, you can’t achieve this if you’re still caged in the past.

Take note that creating a healthy and lasting relationship is difficult if you have emotional baggage from past breakups and traumas.

Yes, you can start a new relationship with anyone you find suitable as a partner, but having emotional baggage will hinder you from being mentally prepared for your responsibilities.

This problem is evident when you find yourself in a lot of couple fights. Since you are not ready to communicate or compromise, your relationship is at risk.

That being said, work on yourself, or else it may affect your future relationship.

Going on bad dates.

As I’ve said, you can’t find “the one” after your first date.

Only a few lucky people are able to achieve this. For most of us, we need to go on different dates, even the ones where we talk to the worst people we will ever meet.

This is the reality of traditional and online dating. You will experience the good and bad sides of things before you meet your future partner.

You can’t avoid it. You need to accept reality and try to learn from your bad experiences.

Being vulnerable.

Throughout my experience, some of my clients found it hard to build a connection with their dates.

The reason behind this is the fact that they are emotionally unavailable. They avoid specific questions regarding themselves and will only talk about unnecessary topics.

You should avoid this when putting yourself out there.

You see, vulnerability is essential in fostering healthy connections.

When you are emotionally unavailable, no relationship will happen. However, when you are not afraid to talk about certain personal aspects of yourself, it will be easier for your future partner to understand your feelings.

Put Yourself Out There

Putting yourself out there is easier said than done.

Since it involves communicating with potential partners and building a deeper bond, you need to prepare yourself before going on dates.

This means that you should not simply rely on your online dating profile or go to your local pub without thinking about your dating approach. Use the important pointers that I have listed above.

Remember, your goal is to create a healthy and lasting relationship. You cannot achieve this if you don’t know how to properly put yourself out there.