Philophobia: The Fear of Falling in Love
They say love is the most beautiful thing in the world. But did you know that some people fear love and relationships? And I don’t mean surface-level fear.
Some people suffer from Philophobia. It is an in-depth, extreme, and sometimes, irrational fear of falling in love and making emotional connections with other people.
People with this phobia often feel unloved and isolated. They panic at the mere thought of falling in love. It’s a serious condition that can negatively affect a person’s mental and physical health.
Symptoms
Symptoms of Philophobia may vary from person to person. Some are emotional, like:
- The inability to have or maintain intimate relationships
- Persistent fear/anxiety in love
- Fear of becoming emotionally close to people
- Feeling anxious about your relationship ending soon
- Abruptly ending relationships
- Avoiding people and places where there are couples (wedding)
Meanwhile, those with Philophobia can experience physical symptoms like:
- Dizziness
- Nausea
- Difficulty breathing
- Increased heart rate
- Chest pain
- Panic attacks
- Dry mouth
- Sweating
- Trembling or shaking
- Lightheadedness
Possible Causes
There is still much to be studied about Philophobia. So far, experts have pointed out the following possible causes of this extreme fear:
Traumatic Experience. Philophobia is mostly a fear reaction or protective response from trauma. Some people who have experienced betrayal, infidelity, divorce, or abuse avoid pain and heartache to the extent that they forbid themselves from forming deep emotional connections with someone.
They may have also experienced a painful childhood where they were abandoned, parents got divorced, or died.
Fear of Rejection. Too much rejection can also lead to Philophobia, to the point that you cannot stand to face one more rejection. These rejections may come from a previous partner, friends, or family. This may also be a fear of break-ups or divorce.
Aversion to Social Norms. Some cultures force females into marriage. Women, in particular, feel the pressure of being in a relationship with someone they barely know. The pressure of having no control over their life turns into fear. The same case happens with some LGBT members who fear falling in love because they’re afraid of societal judgment.
Genetics. Some experts say that genetics may play a role in developing Philophobia. Some people are born with it because they have genes that are more vulnerable to anxiety or phobias.
Risks
People suffering from extreme fear of love may be vulnerable to physical and mental health issues, regardless of their age, gender, or background.
Aside from being unable to maintain healthy and lasting relationships, those with Philophobia may suffer panic attacks, severe depression, and anxiety disorders. They become prone to social isolation and develop suicidal thoughts.
Some of them may already be suffering from Post-traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). If left untreated, the person may resort to things like substance abuse.
How to Manage Philophobia
Philophobia can be treated. While some people are unaware that they have it, others choose to live with it instead of having it treated. Treatment may be done through therapy, counseling, medication, or lifestyle changes.
Overcoming phobia starts with identifying the source of the fear. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) helps people identify where their extreme fear of love came from and encourages them to change their negative thought patterns.
Doctors may also prescribe them anti-depressants and other medications, particularly if they already suffer from other mental health problems.
Healthline, a health information media, suggests that one can manage Philophobia through learning mindful strategies, relaxation techniques, and exercise.
Some people might trivialize Philophobia and say that what you are feeling is silly. If you believe you suffer from this, do not hesitate to get professional help.
