PSYCHOLOGY
Insecurities in a Relationship: The Root of Your Problems
You can’t help but ask yourself why you aren’t enough.
It’s driven you mad before, and there seems to be no end.
Insecurities in a relationship can be the driving force for you to work on yourself and your relationships. But they ultimately fall short of their positive potential due to their overbearing way of making you constantly ask for reassurance and security.
It just gets annoying.
And as your insecurities consume you — be it from your lack of self-confidence or low self-esteem — you begin to lash out and second-guess your partner’s actions and choices. You are leaving your relationship in unease while uncertainty consumes your every thought.
As if to make matters worse, insecurities only prove your incapabilities — that you are unworthy or not good enough.
In some cases, people with insecurities are unaware they could manifest such a destructive force.
That being said, provide yourself with awareness. Know what causes your insecurities and how to keep them at bay.
What causes insecurities in a relationship
Why do you feel insecure? Your partner treats you well and gives you no reason to feel such negative emotions. Do you think you’re just insecure when you’re not?
Well, there may be various reasons, but like every problem, there are common root causes.
- Little to no self-confidence
- A history of bad relationships
- Childhood trauma
- Neglect
- Severe paranoia
- Fear of being abandoned
- Jealousy
- Trust issues
- Obsession and possessiveness
- Physical attributes
Granted, not everything on the list can happen to one person nor will you have only one reason. It’s usually specific and personal, depending on one’s experiences in the past and present. At times, it can even be very challenging to pinpoint where those feelings come from.
You just have to be mindful of triggers and learn to minimize or avoid the situation entirely to not aggravate your insecurities.
Can you ever overcome your insecurities?
Living and fighting with insecurities can be lonely, painful, and, at times, even degrading. Most people say it only takes discipline and acceptance, but overcoming such intrusive thoughts is easier said than done.
Regardless, I know you can do it.
One of the best things you could do for yourself is practice self-love. This is a journey that only you can walk through in hopes of finding your true, authentic self. Discover the value of your time while increasing your self-confidence.
Remember, you can’t love others unless you learn to love yourself.
However, if you feel that you alone can’t handle becoming a better person, you can always seek professional help in the form of a therapist.
A therapist can help guide you into owning yourself. They can fairly quickly pinpoint the root of the problem and give professional advice to overcome your insecurities.
Working on yourself should not be something you must be ashamed of. Take the time to understand your insecurities in a relationship and allow yourself permission to work through them.
In the end, all your efforts will not be in vain. After all, this is for you and the people you care deeply about.
