How to Say Sorry without Saying Sorry

No relationship is perfect. There will always be bad times.

You will find yourself arguing about the most insignificant problems, and that’s okay. You need to know that arguments are normal in any relationship. It’s what you do after a fight that matters most.

So, what do you do after all has been said and done and when regret starts to kick in?

You say sorry, especially if you know you did something wrong.

But, sometimes, “I’m sorry” is not enough.

According to licensed family therapist Beverly Engel, “When one individual feels wronged by another, it isn’t just the words ‘I’m sorry’ they need to hear.”

What they need are actions.

1. Express regrets.

The first thing that you should do is give an apology. Show your partner that you sincerely regret your actions.

That said, don’t just say “I’m sorry” and move on. Your partner wants to hear what you are apologetic about. Because in some cases, people forget what they did wrong. Or they just don’t want to stress that they actually made a mistake.

So, if you forgot about your anniversary, express regret about what happened. Say the phrase, “I feel awful,” and insert what you did wrong.

2. Accept responsibility.

Admit that you’re at fault. It may be difficult to say the phrase “I was wrong.” However, it is a must when apologizing. It shows that you are owning up to your mistake, and you want to do something to make up for it. Besides, your partner wants to hear it from you. It will show them that you want to work things out.

3. Make a promise.

An apology is not enough without a promise. It’s the same as saying sorry time after time you make the same mistake. What your partner needs is a solution for your mistake. That said, after apologizing, make a promise that you will change.

4. Compensate for your actions.

This last step is pretty important. After breaking your partner’s heart, you need to soothe their anger. Show your partner that you understand what you did wrong and that you want to make up for your mistakes.

That being said, compensate for your actions. If you forgot about your anniversary, make time to celebrate it even if it’s late. You can also give your partner a gift.

There’s no need to be extravagant about your efforts. Just show your partner that you are truly sorry and you want to restore your relationship.

Own Up Your Mistakes

Don’t wish for your relationship to be free of arguments.

Consider that it’s normal for couples to bicker on a lot of things. You and your partner are different. So, it’s normal to argue on matters that you don’t understand about each other.

What you should be afraid of is when you don’t argue anymore. Because not fighting may indicate another issue. It’s either you don’t trust each other, or one of you is already thinking of ending things.

So, own up to your mistakes. Don’t just let the time pass, knowing that you are wrong. You hurt your partner’s feelings, and you need to apologize.

However, don’t just say sorry and move through your day. Work things out by planning your apology. Accept that you are wrong and compensate for it. Remember, if you want to keep your relationship going, you need to work things out with yourself and your partner.