How to Date Someone Who Doesn’t Share the Same Beliefs

Is she too religious? Too political? Or too family oriented?

Are you dating someone with values and beliefs that conflict with yours?

Differences are pretty common in any relationship. In some cases, it can even be a deal breaker, especially when ignored and unaddressed at a much earlier time.

A person’s beliefs and course of behavior and actions are motivated by their values. The amount of correlation between them and the individual’s happiness is pretty much high. So if you want to take things seriously, you might as well know how to handle the situation before it’s too late.

Then you’d ask, is dating someone with different beliefs worth pursuing?

Could be. Or maybe not.

But you wouldn’t want to miss the chance, right? Differences are inevitable anyway, and you’re going to have to learn how to deal with them one way or another.

Before throwing in the towel, here are some practical things you can do:

Practice open communication

Communication has proven to be an effective way to resolve any type of problem. Dinner dates are a great time to sit down and give each other the opportunity to practice open communication. You need to observe and determine when would be an ideal time to initiate the discussion.

You can try a subtle approach, but it’s also important to be honest with how you feel.

Just remember, the most important thing is to be sensitive and respectful. Avoid using insulting or provocative words.

When you get the chance, it’s also a good idea to write down important things that are non-negotiable for now and think of ways to compromise later on.

Expose yourself to her activities and interests

Joining and participating in the activities of your potential partner is a great way to show your sincerity. For example, if you’re not the religious or spiritual type, you might want to consider going out to church with her.

You don’t have to convert, get baptized, or anything like that. Just let her feel that despite your differences, you’re willing to understand her world. And understanding leads to acceptance, which is pretty much what you’re aiming for in dealing with differences.

Another good thing that comes with it is the opportunity for new experiences.

At first, you might feel uncomfortable. But trust me, it’s one way of expanding your horizon while getting to know the person more.

Contemplate your own values and beliefs

Both of you are dealing with each other’s differences. You’re not the only one who is adjusting. It’s only fair to be patient and mindful of your limitations.

Contemplating your values and beliefs allows you to reflect and accept that differences are normal. You can do this by jotting down and making a list of things that matter most to you.

Evaluate and compromise

In the end, you would have to decide whether you’re able to compromise with the differences. If you decide to push through, then you might as well evaluate the areas where you can compromise.

Agree on something, set clear rules and expectations, and give the right amount of commitment and discipline to stick to them.

Give it time

Adjusting to each other’s differences takes time. You don’t want to rush things and end up regretting your decisions.

Take the time to try new things together and create new experiences and memories, although you would want to know the timeline and parameters of this adjustment period. It depends.

Do you have the commitment, consistency, and willingness to work things out? If yes, it shouldn’t take long.

There’s no one-size-fits-all approach to dealing with value and belief differences. Like all things in life, this is best attained through practice and consistency.

It can also be frustrating when you really like the person but you’re having difficulty coming to terms with each other’s differences.

For as long as you don’t step on each other’s boundaries, and respect is present in all aspects, any relationship will grow and flourish.