PSYCHOLOGY

How Arguments in Relationships Can Be Healthy

Alejandra Rodríguez
3 min readJan 11, 2024
A couple hugging after resolving their argument.
Photo by cottonbro studio on Pexels

It may not feel like it, but arguing can benefit a relationship.

Arguments in relationships are inevitable; that’s just how it works. And if you’re scared to face difficult conversations or avoid the situation entirely, you will have much less success in having a happy relationship.

Remember, you and your partner are two separate individuals. Sometimes, your egos will clash because you experience and interpret situations differently, whether it be because of your culture, age, or childhood.

And that’s normal.

But in most cases, poor communication and misunderstandings can turn arguments into fights.

But isn’t arguing, in a sense, fighting?

Difference between arguments and fights

In an argument, issues are resolved fairly quickly as both partners are willing to listen and compromise. With this, they are a vital part of any relationship and allow a couple to grow as they learn to understand each other.

Fighting, on the other hand, takes longer to end. It usually goes south as both partners refuse to listen to one another by overpowering the other in a screaming match or giving silent treatment. Regardless, they fail to acknowledge and understand the other’s perspective, thinking theirs is “the right one.”

In the worst-case scenario, fights often lead to a breakup.

That said, the key to a successful and healthy relationship is your approach to handling arguments.

The more you talk, the more you get to know what’s really going on

Going through an argument doesn’t necessarily mean animosity is present between you and your partner. Sure, you may feel like you want to be apart from them. But there’s still a willingness to stay. After all, you both just got lost in translation and attacked each other instead of the problem.

But as you go down the line, you begin to see what has been bothering you both — an unresolved issue.

It’s only when you discover the root of the problem that it becomes only a matter of time for you to come up with a solution.

Growth and compromise

Arguments in relationships can be grounds for growth if you treat them as an experience rather than a competition.

But with this type of growth often comes compromise. And once you’ve set up a solution that requires you and your partner to meet halfway, avoid similar mishaps in the future.

This allows you, your partner, and your relationship to evolve.

Resolving arguments strengthens the relationship

You’ve figured out the flaws and worked on the issues. And after all is said and done, you’ll notice something different in your relationship.

Your foundation has become more solid, making it sturdy and enabling it to withstand further hardships.

With this, you and your partner are open and eager for more loving and constructive arguments that may come along the way. The experience has brought you both together and closer than ever.

Not everybody sees the value in participating in an argument. And you can’t blame them.

At first glance, arguments in relationships do seem counterintuitive. But when you see them as a stepping stone to learning more about each other, you and your partner slowly build certain boundaries for a healthier relationship.

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